When to Push and When to Pause: Finding the Right Balance*
- Glenda Carnate
- Mar 28
- 2 min read
Supporting an autistic child or adult is a delicate balance between encouragement and respect for their limits. Growth happens when challenges are manageable, but pushing too hard can lead to stress and shutdowns. Learning when to step forward and back is key to building confidence and resilience.
Knowing When to Encourage
Encouragement is important when a person is capable but hesitant. They may need reassurance, structure, or time to process before stepping outside their comfort zone. Some signs it’s time to gently push include:
They show curiosity but seem unsure.
They engage with some frustration but keep trying.
They’ve made progress with similar challenges before.
The task is difficult but within reach with support.
Breaking the challenge into smaller steps, using positive reinforcement, and allowing flexibility can help build confidence without overwhelming them.
Recognizing When to Pause
There are times when taking a step back is the best option. Signs that someone may need a break include:
Signs of distress, anxiety, or sensory overload.
Repeated frustration without progress.
Physical exhaustion or emotional shutdown.
Loss of interest or avoidance of the activity.
Pausing doesn’t mean giving up—it’s about allowing time to recharge. Stepping away from a challenge can provide space for self-regulation, reduce frustration, and improve readiness to try again later.
Finding the Right Rhythm
Growth isn’t a straight path, and progress looks different for everyone. By observing, listening, and adjusting expectations, you can provide safe and empowering support. Knowing when to push and when to pause creates an environment where learning is both effective and respectful.
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*Results may vary; please consult a professional.
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